Tuesday, April 29, 2014



Recently I started recording "victories." Times when I was either severely tempted, or the opportunity was there, to "act out." (note: "acting out" is synonymous with "using" in the way alcoholics and drug addicts use it)
So recently I started recording these victories to remind myself of progress. It is very easy to focus on the negative and become severely depressed with each slip or relapse.

I am going to try posting my victories on here and see how I feel about it. Whether I continue doing it here, or go back to writing it down personally I don't know.

One of the hardest parts about sexual addiction is that you have access to your drug 24/7. Perhaps not access to every means of acting out, but a sexual addict always has the 2 most basic forms of acting out-their thoughts and themselves.
Unlike drugs, one does not have to leave the house and find a dealer to "use" sexually. Lust can hit you at any moment and the you can lust with your thoughts anywhere, and for however long, you want. And no one knows. Also, the sexual addict is only one closed door away from being able to act out sexually with him/herself (yes their are female pornography/sex addicts).

The Victory

So on to the victory I just had. I was in the restroom, which for me has been one of, if not the biggest, challenges during the struggle with addiction. I was in the restroom and had strong urges to masturbate. I really wanted to, but I was able to focus on "the pain" (remembering how i felt in the past after acting out-in this case yesterday). I was able to think of the pain and also focus on how I want to be able to attend the Temple when one of my best friends gets married soon. I was also listening to some spiritual music-efy music for those who are familiar with EFY). This helped a lot. I was able to get out of the bathroom without acting out.

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